My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
