Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
