So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
