Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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