I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize