Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
