I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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