wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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