Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
