I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize