I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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