Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
