She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
