I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
