you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it glows. i had to have it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
