My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
