Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
