I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
