At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
