my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize