last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize