is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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