We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize