she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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