I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
