if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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