yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
