absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
