Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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