I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
