Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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