My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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