I'm really into asian looking animals
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
