I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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