I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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