His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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