i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
