Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
