I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
