It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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