bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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