What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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