why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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