I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
