is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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