i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
