My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
