you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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