I could have mohawked her pubes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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