don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
