do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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