I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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