Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't deserve a penis
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
