Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
