getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
