So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
