apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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