All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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