Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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