dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
