I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
