you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
