omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
