Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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