Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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