If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
