Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
