"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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