I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
