i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
