no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
