Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Randomize
