I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize