Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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