I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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