Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
