your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
