Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
