K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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