It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
